It's been a long time since I wrote to you last. (I just reread that post... some of it is facepalm worthy...)
Turns out it has been a couple months less than a year, but really, what's so special about anniversaries anyway? Today is the 283rd day-versary, and I think that's as good as any reason to celebrate :)
And by "celebrate", I mean sit alone on my bed and begin to write a series of mini-letters to someone I don't yet know of (or at least, not as Love yet).
Someday I won't have to write mystery letters to you, I will be able to just talk to you.
That will be nice, don't you think?
Have we met? Did you like like me? Did I like like you?
Oh gosh, you probably witnessed my failure to flirt... that's embarrassing.
Do you think about dating me sometimes? Have I wondered the reverse?
This is confusing... and occasionally stress-inducing.
Your absence has been of note lately.
Normally, I can be objective and understand that loneliness is not always negated by the presence of another person; I understand that loneliness is usually just a perception of isolation that anyone (regardless of relationship status) can perceive and believe.
But still, it's hard not to miss your potential presence when I frequently find myself being the third, fifth, seventh wheel... yeah... that's not so fun for single Emmi...
Not to rush you. Seriously, take whatever time you need!
...But also (if convenient) hurry up already, would you?
Today I experienced a huge God-filled ministry high that I wish I could tell you all about!!
Somehow this makes me more sad than feelings of loneliness -- to not be able to share my excitement with you on this! The people that I would normally drive crazy with my overflow of words were THERE, which doesn't mean that I can't talk to them, but it's just not as exciting, you know?
I love exciting talk! And today was so exciting!
Gah! This is annoying!
I have this idea of something that I think would be fun and challenging and probably foolish and maybe even reckless, and I wish I could run it by you and stop it from turning into brain crack!
The worst part is that the longer I sit in daydreaming singledom, the more I get deluded by this head-version of you that just magically likes and is excited to do all of the same things that I am! But without the ability to get your feedback, I have no way of knowing if the idea is good, or bad, or absolutely ridiculous, or possible (with a little bit of convincing).
I haven't told the idea to anyone but my car, because, well, I have a pretty strong suspicion that it's possibly not good...
But the point is that in your absence I get to contentedly to live with my head-version of you.
He's very agreeable. And he's totally on board with everything I suggest! Imagine that!
Oh my gosh, head-version you is dangerously close to brain crack status!!
I guess I may have to break up with head-version of you soon... Darn. I really thought we had something special, you know ;)
A short-list of things I want to know:
Do you like Disney movies?
and intelligent discussions?
and silly things?
and not running too much or otherwise being overly active?
and board games?
and playing video games that I'm good at? (Basically: was it designed for children, is it mario, does it involve a race car, or is it Portal?) (I'm actually pretty bad at Portal, but I make up for my deficit in excitement and passion.)
and not minding me watch you play the video games I'm bad at? (It's weird, I know, I like it anyway...in moderation and with explanations of what's happening)
and general weirdness? (Because I have that in SPADES!) (Seriously, everyone is better off if we just accept that I'm weird and move on.)
ooo! and camping?
and adventures? (casual ones, or active ones so long as you don't mind semi-frequent stops to admire the everything that you miss if you're of the "get to point B as fast as possible" variety of adventurer)
or otherwise music making?
or at the very least, Disney sing-alongs?
and swinging? (I love swings!)
and roller coasters? (That escalated quickly... Eh? Eh? See what I did there?)
and lame jokes?
Answers requested as soon as possible :)
I've got more half-formed mini-letters in my head, but now it's tomorrow already and I'm tired from the busy yet satisfying day that was today :)
Until next time, Love.