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Devo Note 2015.Jun.24
// Psalm 56:3-4 //
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise --
in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can mere man do to me?
I'm not currently afraid, but I want to hold on to these poetic verses. Commit them to memory; cling to them in the next time of struggle. "In God, whose word I praise -- in God I trust and am not afraid."
30 Days of Blogging - Day 7: But God...
// Ephesians 2:1-5 NLT // Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil -- the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) //
2:4 We were dead in our sins, but God . . . We were rebels against him, but God . . . We were enslaved by the devil and our sinful natures, but God . . . These may be the two most welcome words in all of Scripture: "but God." God could have left us spiritually dead, in rebellion against him and in bondage to our sins. But he didn't. He did not save us because of, but rather in spite of, what he saw in us. In addition to thanking him for what he has done for us, we should also show humble patience and tolerance for others who seem unworthy or undeserving of our love and compassion. They may be spiritually dull, rebellious, and even antagonistic toward God. So were we; but God loved us anyway. Can we do less for fellow sinners?
This is one of my favorite passages of Scripture and it's accompanying study note in my bible.
This face-to-face understanding of how desperately we are (were) lost in our depravity without the love of God and the sacrifice of his Son has been a favorite for years, but it has come back to mind again recently.
I think too often when we talk about the concept of "becoming a Christian" we lose the focus of how utterly sinful we are, and how undeserving of anything from God we are (let alone TOTAL FORGIVENESS!). But God! Not because of anything we have done or CAN DO, but because of who He is.
// Ephesians 2:8-9 NLT // God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. //
Our ONLY part (seriously, the only thing that we are even able to do) in this whole shebang is belief. And even when we hadn't believed yet (or even after when we've screwed up), he gave his grace freely anyway, because this is His party and he can save if he want to.
But the other thing I feel like we too often mess up in this whole "we're all Christians" thangy, is the truth that we are ALL sinners, even still. Christianity isn't some magic "Sin Be Gone Forever" potion! It is a daily thing. A daily dying to self and sinful desires, and embracing the power of the Holy Spirit that we have been freely given, in order to be able to make a stand against the sin in our lives.
WE LITERALLY CANNOT DO IT WITHOUT HIM!!
No one can. And that's kind of my point. Everyone -- from you and your family and neighbors, to your enemies and the worst of sinners that make pat yourself on the back and think "Hey, at least I'm not doing that!" (self-righteousness is a bad look on you, I promise) -- is a sinner who God has ALREADY loved so much that He stepped in to pay the ultimate price.
Our sin is no different in it's separating-from-God effect than the sin of the next guy or next after that. Show them love and extend them grace, tell them that God is a God of Buts (on second though, maybe don't say it quite like that...) don't condemn them or persecute them for their sin (their lifestyle or their beliefs).
That's not our part in this whole shebang.
// By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. //
It's one in the morning and I'm at the altar.
Not even wasting my time with kneeling, I pretty much went straight to laying down.
I don't often have the opportunity to come here, usually being stuck where I am on Sundays by one of my many obligations.
(Which, side note, turns out is for the best because it's not actually possible for me to kneel there without partially mooning the congregation area...)
I had to come to the church to drop something off, but as I walked past the altar I knew that was why I was really here.
I laid there, holding the cross, trying (with varied success) to remind myself that I don't have to be lonely,
I don't have to feel unloved or unworthy,
I don't have to worry about tomorrow,
and I don't have to feel ashamed.
As with all of my times at the altar, I don't feel a presence of God (though I have at other times and places).
I don't feel much of anything actually.
I don't feel the weight of my worry,
my fear,
my confusion,
my doubt,
or the whispers of lies that so easily distract.
I can't even think straight; I'm so unaccustomed to so much silence in my head!
I wouldn't describe what I feel as peace, but it's certainly something "other" than the feelings that brought me to the altar in the first place.
I never know quite what to make of this "other" feeling...
For today, I will accept it as an opportunity to refocus on the Truth -- after finally having the lies lose their roots -- and to praise the one who paid my debt.
Life sure would suck without Him tonight.
So... How've you been?
Hello lovelies! It occurred to me today that I have been neglecting my poor little blog!
To make up for it, here is another Random Things post :)
Thing One: Movies!!!
So many movies coming out in November that I want to see!! Off the top of my head... Big Hero 6, Mockingjay, and The Imitation Game. I know that's only 3, but considering a that a typical month has maaaybe one, I think it's impressive. Such a random spread too! I feel like it gives a pretty good insight into my personality... you've got the love of disney/animated/adorable, the gotta-see-how-well-they-adapt-this-book-why-are-they-making-it-two-parts-that-seems-unnecessary, and the nerd in me wanting to see 1) Benedict Cumberbatch, and 2) the history behind the one of the coolest set of code-breaking nerds ever! I'm so excited (and I just can't hide it...etc.).
Thing Two: Singing in Public
I'm not sure how I missed this about myself before, but it has come to my attention lately that I do an awful lot of singing in public. I ALWAYS have a song in my head -- whatever I happened to hear last -- and turns out sometimes I'm not just hearing it in my head, I'm also singing it outloud too... yep, this is me, folks.
Thing Three: It's
I'm pretty sure that once upon a time, someone taught an impressionable young Emmi that "it's" could be a possessive. I am very upset with that person for confusing young Emmi (and occationally mid-twenties Emmi too...)
Thing Four: Time Until Alarm
Okay, my phone is a jerk.
Backstory: My right-before-sleeping routine includes checking to make sure my alarm is set correctly on my phone. To do this I always tap the existing everyday alarm and confirm the time is where I want it. When I hit "done" a little message pops up saying "Alarm set for [blank] hours and [blank minutes] from now."
Normally I'm all for this added confirmation that I haven't accidentally set the alarm for PM or something, but when it's after 1 in the morning, I REALLY don't want to know that I now only have "6 hours and 14 minutes" to sleep!! ...Please tell me I'm not alone in this!
Thing Five: $35 Purchases
I have discovered that $35 purchases are the weakness in my money management. For $40, I stop and think on if it's worth it, but $35 I ring through the debit card without a thought. But those sneaky purchases add up so stinkin' quickly! Makes me sad to be such a gullible consumer.
Thing Six: 1 Peter 2:2-3
// Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness. //
Not an unfamiliar piece of scripture, but it stood out to me in a very different way recently. There is so much more here than an analogy of how desperately we should be dependent on the Lord's provision. Being saved is so awesome, so stellar, that it's easy to think that it is the end goal. Why even search, we have achieved salvation! It's so easy to grow complacent with this attitude, but scripture here tells us that God has so much more planned for us! "Grow into a full experience of salvation... now that you have tasted of the Lord's kindness." This marvelous act of sending Jesus to die for our sins so that we can be right with Him is just a taste of His kindness, just a glimpse of his goodness to us. What if we lived, daily, allowing ourselves to crave the nourishment He desires to give us? He wants to show us SO MUCH MORE. A study I did recently had this quote in it, 'God invites us to a personal breakfast with him and says, "Come here, child. I have something special to give you today."' I'm not perfect in this (like, EVER), but I keep reminding myself to stop depending on my own righteousness to keep me spiritually nourished and to rely on His righteousness which won't just satisfy, but has the inherent ability to change everything.
Toodles my lovelies :) Have a wonderful day!
To make up for it, here is another Random Things post :)
Thing One: Movies!!!
So many movies coming out in November that I want to see!! Off the top of my head... Big Hero 6, Mockingjay, and The Imitation Game. I know that's only 3, but considering a that a typical month has maaaybe one, I think it's impressive. Such a random spread too! I feel like it gives a pretty good insight into my personality... you've got the love of disney/animated/adorable, the gotta-see-how-well-they-adapt-this-book-why-are-they-making-it-two-parts-that-seems-unnecessary, and the nerd in me wanting to see 1) Benedict Cumberbatch, and 2) the history behind the one of the coolest set of code-breaking nerds ever! I'm so excited (and I just can't hide it...etc.).
Thing Two: Singing in Public
I'm not sure how I missed this about myself before, but it has come to my attention lately that I do an awful lot of singing in public. I ALWAYS have a song in my head -- whatever I happened to hear last -- and turns out sometimes I'm not just hearing it in my head, I'm also singing it outloud too... yep, this is me, folks.
Thing Three: It's
I'm pretty sure that once upon a time, someone taught an impressionable young Emmi that "it's" could be a possessive. I am very upset with that person for confusing young Emmi (and occationally mid-twenties Emmi too...)
Thing Four: Time Until Alarm
Okay, my phone is a jerk.
Backstory: My right-before-sleeping routine includes checking to make sure my alarm is set correctly on my phone. To do this I always tap the existing everyday alarm and confirm the time is where I want it. When I hit "done" a little message pops up saying "Alarm set for [blank] hours and [blank minutes] from now."
Normally I'm all for this added confirmation that I haven't accidentally set the alarm for PM or something, but when it's after 1 in the morning, I REALLY don't want to know that I now only have "6 hours and 14 minutes" to sleep!! ...Please tell me I'm not alone in this!
Thing Five: $35 Purchases
I have discovered that $35 purchases are the weakness in my money management. For $40, I stop and think on if it's worth it, but $35 I ring through the debit card without a thought. But those sneaky purchases add up so stinkin' quickly! Makes me sad to be such a gullible consumer.
Thing Six: 1 Peter 2:2-3
// Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness. //
Not an unfamiliar piece of scripture, but it stood out to me in a very different way recently. There is so much more here than an analogy of how desperately we should be dependent on the Lord's provision. Being saved is so awesome, so stellar, that it's easy to think that it is the end goal. Why even search, we have achieved salvation! It's so easy to grow complacent with this attitude, but scripture here tells us that God has so much more planned for us! "Grow into a full experience of salvation... now that you have tasted of the Lord's kindness." This marvelous act of sending Jesus to die for our sins so that we can be right with Him is just a taste of His kindness, just a glimpse of his goodness to us. What if we lived, daily, allowing ourselves to crave the nourishment He desires to give us? He wants to show us SO MUCH MORE. A study I did recently had this quote in it, 'God invites us to a personal breakfast with him and says, "Come here, child. I have something special to give you today."' I'm not perfect in this (like, EVER), but I keep reminding myself to stop depending on my own righteousness to keep me spiritually nourished and to rely on His righteousness which won't just satisfy, but has the inherent ability to change everything.
Toodles my lovelies :) Have a wonderful day!
Grace is...
(An excerpt from the last day of Beth Moore's Children of the Day study on 1 & 2 Thessalonians)
Like those original readers, we are saved by grace, chosen by grace, called by grace, and gifted by grace. Maybe a few word pictures could sketch illustrations for an encyclopedia of grace.
Grace is an inflated raft that can submerge to the floor of the sea to save you.
Grace is the silver thread that stitches up the shreds of mangled souls.
Grace calls the waitress to the table and sits her down to wash her feet.
Grace sees underneath the manhole on a street of self-destruction.
Grace is the air to draw a breath in the belly of a whale.
Grace is the courage to stand in the shamed wake of a frightful failing.
Grace is the only fire hot enough to burn down a living hell.
Grace waits with healing in His wings when we're too mad to pray.
Grace is the gravity that pulls us from depravity.
Grace races us to the Throne when we make haste to repent -- and it always outruns us.
Grace is the doorpost dripping red when the angel of death grips the knob.
Grace is the stamp that says "Ransomed" on a life that screams "Ruined".
Grace sets a table before me in the presence of my enemy, even when my enemy is me.
Grace is the cloak that covers the naked and the palm that drops the rock.
Grace is divine power burgeoning in the absence of all strength.
Grace proves God true and every self-made man a liar -- for the sake of his own soul.
Grace is the power to do what we cannot do, for the name of Christ to go where it has not been.
Grace is a room of a thousand mirrors, all reflecting the face of Christ.
Grace is no simple greeting -- it is a gift held out in nail-pierced hands.
Some Thought Put Into It.
I've been having a disappointing week. Disappointed in myself.
But today, God has been reminding me that he has put A LOT of thought into the SIMPLEST things around me. Hence, my study of wheat. Yes... wheat.
So I just wanted to make a post about this. Because if He's put so much thought intoWHEAT BARLEY, how can I possibly believe that I am on my own in fixing my problems. He has put way too much thought into my life to just abandon me now.
// Luke 1:45 // Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her. //
// Luke 1:37 // For no word from God will ever fail. //
I also attempted to capture this picture of a storm in front of the sunset, but of course it doesn't really do it justice. Still a pretty picture though.
But today, God has been reminding me that he has put A LOT of thought into the SIMPLEST things around me. Hence, my study of wheat. Yes... wheat.
(ETA: Oh my goodness, so turns out that is actually BARLEY!!! ...So yes, my knowledge of crops is poor; my amazement in the fact that God created that [period] has not been diminished. Now I will know the difference between wheat and barley.)
So I just wanted to make a post about this. Because if He's put so much thought into
// Luke 1:45 // Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her. //
// Luke 1:37 // For no word from God will ever fail. //
I also attempted to capture this picture of a storm in front of the sunset, but of course it doesn't really do it justice. Still a pretty picture though.
A (Lengthy) Side Trip
It's been a while since I've posted, I know... bad Emmi.
To be fair, I did spend most of July working at a youth/kids camp (I guess I'm not going to be making a "real" post about that like I have been meaning to...).
Let's just take a little side trip from this post to talk about the camp. It was my first time EVER being at a camp. I mean EVER as in I NEVER went to camp as a kid/teen, and this was my FIRST experience working at one. The experience, honestly, was not what I was expecting, and I still can't even really decide how I feel about the whole thing (hence, why I haven't written a blog post about it yet).
There were parts of the first week (aka. teen retreat) that made me want to either cry in the corner or punch something. It was nicht so gut*. Not to be all "poor me", but there was one of the girls (there were only three) who HATED me. Or did she like me... some days we were fine (normal haha moments and a couple serious ones), some days she would be completely cold to me (as soon as I would approach her, she would get a rigid body posture, stare at a distance roughly 5 feet away from me, and only say something to the effect of "talk to me and I'm leaving" or say absolutely nothing at all). It was maddening never knowing which persona I would be dealing with!
And whatever! I'm a big girl! Though she was the point that broke me every time, her attitude was not the problem. The problem that had me running to yell at God was feeling USELESS. This group was a mess at the beginning of the week: bullying, exclusiveness, wordly attitudes... I instantly felt the need being cried out in every interaction these teens had with each other; they needed a strong leader! Or ANY leader period. I AM CALLED TO BE A YOUTH LEADER!!! It was torture to know the need, but at the same time know that I could do nothing to fill it! These kids had known me for all of a day, and weren't interested in acknowledging that I even existed. If I'd stuck around for another month (or years), I knew I could have an impact, but it was a very frustrating experience to learn that I am not a short-term-relationship type of leader. I NEED months/years to do my thing.
And so, here I am in the very first week of three weeks at this camp, learning that I feel useless when I only get to spend 5 days with those I'm leading. ...Can't you just feel my excitement to do the rest of the weeks?
No.
I was pretty upset with God for bringing me so far** to do, what felt like, nothing.
This side trip is getting really long...
Needless to say, I finished that first week feeling really tired. But I found myself really grateful for the Youth Group that God has given me to lead.
The other two weeks (aka. kids camp and pre-teen camp) went significantly better! Though not exactly sunshine and rainbows, it was a lot more of what I had prepared myself for. I even found myself managing to form a couple of relationships with the campers! Yay :)
All this to say, I'm torn about how I feel about camp as a ministry. I've heard stories of how effective camp ministry can be, so I'm not saying that it isn't. I am just kind of left feeling like, maybe, it's not MY ministry.
My strength is in long-term ministry.
That being said, if God wants me to go back, I will. In a heartbeat. I know he can use even my pathetic attempts at short-term ministry if he wants to. And if I see some of the kids again, it's almost more like a long-term thing, no?
*Sorry, my family is german and though I can't speak fluently AT ALL, I do use a smattering of phrases without thinking. nicht so gut=not so good.
**Oh yeah, it was 2 provinces over.
</side trip>
To be fair, I did spend most of July working at a youth/kids camp (I guess I'm not going to be making a "real" post about that like I have been meaning to...).
- - - - - - - - - - - -
There were parts of the first week (aka. teen retreat) that made me want to either cry in the corner or punch something. It was nicht so gut*. Not to be all "poor me", but there was one of the girls (there were only three) who HATED me. Or did she like me... some days we were fine (normal haha moments and a couple serious ones), some days she would be completely cold to me (as soon as I would approach her, she would get a rigid body posture, stare at a distance roughly 5 feet away from me, and only say something to the effect of "talk to me and I'm leaving" or say absolutely nothing at all). It was maddening never knowing which persona I would be dealing with!
And whatever! I'm a big girl! Though she was the point that broke me every time, her attitude was not the problem. The problem that had me running to yell at God was feeling USELESS. This group was a mess at the beginning of the week: bullying, exclusiveness, wordly attitudes... I instantly felt the need being cried out in every interaction these teens had with each other; they needed a strong leader! Or ANY leader period. I AM CALLED TO BE A YOUTH LEADER!!! It was torture to know the need, but at the same time know that I could do nothing to fill it! These kids had known me for all of a day, and weren't interested in acknowledging that I even existed. If I'd stuck around for another month (or years), I knew I could have an impact, but it was a very frustrating experience to learn that I am not a short-term-relationship type of leader. I NEED months/years to do my thing.
And so, here I am in the very first week of three weeks at this camp, learning that I feel useless when I only get to spend 5 days with those I'm leading. ...Can't you just feel my excitement to do the rest of the weeks?
No.
I was pretty upset with God for bringing me so far** to do, what felt like, nothing.
This side trip is getting really long...
Needless to say, I finished that first week feeling really tired. But I found myself really grateful for the Youth Group that God has given me to lead.
The other two weeks (aka. kids camp and pre-teen camp) went significantly better! Though not exactly sunshine and rainbows, it was a lot more of what I had prepared myself for. I even found myself managing to form a couple of relationships with the campers! Yay :)
All this to say, I'm torn about how I feel about camp as a ministry. I've heard stories of how effective camp ministry can be, so I'm not saying that it isn't. I am just kind of left feeling like, maybe, it's not MY ministry.
My strength is in long-term ministry.
That being said, if God wants me to go back, I will. In a heartbeat. I know he can use even my pathetic attempts at short-term ministry if he wants to. And if I see some of the kids again, it's almost more like a long-term thing, no?
*Sorry, my family is german and though I can't speak fluently AT ALL, I do use a smattering of phrases without thinking. nicht so gut=not so good.
**Oh yeah, it was 2 provinces over.
</side trip>
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Okay, where was I...? Oh yeah! So I got back from camp and almost immediately moved to a new house, so I haven't had time to post. Sorry.
You know what? This post has already been really long, I'll just end it here and make a new post about what I was actually wanting to talk about.
Toodles :)
I am (we are) Eve.
Another gooder from SheReadsTruth.com
Not really anything I didn't already know, but that just makes me appreciate the reminder all the more.
eve: who we believe
Toodles lovelies!
Not really anything I didn't already know, but that just makes me appreciate the reminder all the more.
eve: who we believe
Toodles lovelies!
I'm alive!!
Hello lovelies.
I realized today that I neglected to tell you something very important.... I'm doing better.
You know that post I made about being spiritually tired and feeling distant for the month of March? Yeah... I've been doing a lot better for a while now.
I believe my funk only lasted for a couple of days after that post (basically, early April)..... sooooo, sorry for not telling you.
Anywho... I just wanted to share my devotional from today. It really changed my perspective on a couple of things. I've copy/pasted it below. If you happen to be a woman (or know of one), I highly recommend SheReadsTruth.com.
Toodles!
------------------------------------------------
(from SheReadsTruth.com)
Nehemiah | Day 15 | A Willing Sacrifice
Text: Nehemiah 11-12:26, Philippians 2:21, Romans 12:1
At first glance, the exhaustive list of names in chapters 11 and 12 makes for a rather dry read. But pull up a chair, dig in a bit more, and see that in between these listings is the story of great importance to Jerusalem.
You would think as Jerusalem was being finished, people fought over who would live within the walls of the great city that they built. It would seem obvious that living there would be a privilege. Instead we see that lots were cast over who had to go, and that the people who did volunteer were commended. (Nehemiah 11:1-2)
Why is this? First, Israelites were a hated people. Anyone living within the walls could probably expect to be attacked and live on edge. Also, because it was a holy city and in it resided their temple, the inhabitants would need to follow God’s commandments closely and be examples.
Simply put, living within Jerusalem was more of a bother than a gift to most.
“All seek their own, not the things that are Jesus Christ’s.” (Philippians 2:21)
As I read through these chapters, my heart is struck by how often in my life I am the Israelite unwilling to live in God’s city. I’d rather be outside the walls, no burdens of how to act or expectations to sacrifice comforts. Yet, what God wants from us isn’t a begrudging acceptance of “lot casting.” He wants our hearts, our ability to look at the unknown and often terrifying and still say, “Yes Lord. Not my will, but yours.”
Our Lord wants us to accept making our lives a living sacrifice for His kingdom because He knows that what lies ahead for us in eternity is better than anything here on earth.
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” (Romans 12:1)
We can be lot casters. We can enter into His holy city kicking and screaming, pouting for years and wondering, “Why me?” But we can also choose to go willingly, to be the volunteers that love the Lord so much we’d sacrifice the earthly “good” life for the glory of God.
Lord, make our lives a (willing) living sacrifice for your greater purpose.
------------------------------------------------
I realized today that I neglected to tell you something very important.... I'm doing better.
You know that post I made about being spiritually tired and feeling distant for the month of March? Yeah... I've been doing a lot better for a while now.
I believe my funk only lasted for a couple of days after that post (basically, early April)..... sooooo, sorry for not telling you.
Anywho... I just wanted to share my devotional from today. It really changed my perspective on a couple of things. I've copy/pasted it below. If you happen to be a woman (or know of one), I highly recommend SheReadsTruth.com.
Toodles!
------------------------------------------------
(from SheReadsTruth.com)
Nehemiah | Day 15 | A Willing Sacrifice
Text: Nehemiah 11-12:26, Philippians 2:21, Romans 12:1
At first glance, the exhaustive list of names in chapters 11 and 12 makes for a rather dry read. But pull up a chair, dig in a bit more, and see that in between these listings is the story of great importance to Jerusalem.
You would think as Jerusalem was being finished, people fought over who would live within the walls of the great city that they built. It would seem obvious that living there would be a privilege. Instead we see that lots were cast over who had to go, and that the people who did volunteer were commended. (Nehemiah 11:1-2)
Why is this? First, Israelites were a hated people. Anyone living within the walls could probably expect to be attacked and live on edge. Also, because it was a holy city and in it resided their temple, the inhabitants would need to follow God’s commandments closely and be examples.
Simply put, living within Jerusalem was more of a bother than a gift to most.
“All seek their own, not the things that are Jesus Christ’s.” (Philippians 2:21)
As I read through these chapters, my heart is struck by how often in my life I am the Israelite unwilling to live in God’s city. I’d rather be outside the walls, no burdens of how to act or expectations to sacrifice comforts. Yet, what God wants from us isn’t a begrudging acceptance of “lot casting.” He wants our hearts, our ability to look at the unknown and often terrifying and still say, “Yes Lord. Not my will, but yours.”
Our Lord wants us to accept making our lives a living sacrifice for His kingdom because He knows that what lies ahead for us in eternity is better than anything here on earth.
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” (Romans 12:1)
We can be lot casters. We can enter into His holy city kicking and screaming, pouting for years and wondering, “Why me?” But we can also choose to go willingly, to be the volunteers that love the Lord so much we’d sacrifice the earthly “good” life for the glory of God.
Lord, make our lives a (willing) living sacrifice for your greater purpose.
------------------------------------------------
A Good Reminder
This was in my devotional tonight and I just thought I would pass it on.
---------------------------------------------
// Philippians 2:5-11 // You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. //
(From SheReadsTruth.com)
When we think of humility as Christians, we know Jesus as the perfect example. What we may not think of are the reasons He was like He was. Absolutely, He had every right to be exalted by the world. Instead He choose to start out His story different from the moment it happened. Unwed mother. Stable birth. Fleeing from a king instead of a childhood home. Growing up always different. Put to death in the most cruel, humiliating way possible.
You may know all of this, it may have been told to you over and over with the ending of “because Jesus loved us so much.”
What strikes me is this: Jesus did this because His Heavenly Father ASKED Him to. He lived and died for the GLORY OF GOD. Just like in growing up, His death wasn’t for accolades or attention. He didn’t die so we, as imperfect creations, could tell Him how amazing He was for the rest of eternity. It was for obedience, and in being obedient, He needed to humble himself to our level. He had to, what would this story hold for our hearts and minds if Jesus grew up in a castle with servants and died at 90 in a gold bathtub? And yet, He easily could have and instead chose to obey.
Yes, Jesus died for our sins and to set us free from the rules and regulations we are still so bound by. But this act was in complete obedience to what He was sent to earth to accomplish. When we think of how and why He died, our thoughts should be on how amazing it was He could follow the path set for Him to the very end, even while we turned our backs on Him and He had His heart break for us.
Jesus was the very definition of humble. He was able to say no when He needed, to put others first each time He could, to obey His father at the cost of His life, and to set aside His own ego to accomplish what no one else could ever do.
What a Savior. What an amazing example of perfect humility.
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Thank you, Lord! God bless, my lovelies!
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// Philippians 2:5-11 // You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. //
(From SheReadsTruth.com)
When we think of humility as Christians, we know Jesus as the perfect example. What we may not think of are the reasons He was like He was. Absolutely, He had every right to be exalted by the world. Instead He choose to start out His story different from the moment it happened. Unwed mother. Stable birth. Fleeing from a king instead of a childhood home. Growing up always different. Put to death in the most cruel, humiliating way possible.
You may know all of this, it may have been told to you over and over with the ending of “because Jesus loved us so much.”
What strikes me is this: Jesus did this because His Heavenly Father ASKED Him to. He lived and died for the GLORY OF GOD. Just like in growing up, His death wasn’t for accolades or attention. He didn’t die so we, as imperfect creations, could tell Him how amazing He was for the rest of eternity. It was for obedience, and in being obedient, He needed to humble himself to our level. He had to, what would this story hold for our hearts and minds if Jesus grew up in a castle with servants and died at 90 in a gold bathtub? And yet, He easily could have and instead chose to obey.
Yes, Jesus died for our sins and to set us free from the rules and regulations we are still so bound by. But this act was in complete obedience to what He was sent to earth to accomplish. When we think of how and why He died, our thoughts should be on how amazing it was He could follow the path set for Him to the very end, even while we turned our backs on Him and He had His heart break for us.
Jesus was the very definition of humble. He was able to say no when He needed, to put others first each time He could, to obey His father at the cost of His life, and to set aside His own ego to accomplish what no one else could ever do.
What a Savior. What an amazing example of perfect humility.
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Thank you, Lord! God bless, my lovelies!
Oops.
Goodness, it has been a while, eh?
Bad Emmi.
It's Good Friday, so maybe this is a weird time to talk about this, but it does (kindasortamaybe?) fit.
The last month has, spiritually, been a rough one for me.
This won't be one of my more "wordy" blog post, because I've been trying all month yet still cannot find the right words to explain what's been happening or how I feel.
The best word I can use to describe it is DISTANT.
Not just feeling distant from God, though that certainly has it's place, but mainly that I feel distant from my UNDERSTANDING of Him and how I RELATE to that. My brain and my heart are not communicating very effectively.
I am INFINITELY grateful that I have not stopped reading my Bible during this time; I could not imagine how much worse my month could have been if that wasn't the case. And as I write that I realize... I did have a really good month in most of the other aspects of my life. I can only thank God.
But right there in that last sentence is one of the weird things about this valley period. I can acknowledge the God-moments in my life, but I feel this disconnect to them. Almost like I can SEE His handiwork, but I can't feel His hands.
For the first time EVER (and I mean evereverEVER!) I attended a worship conference and sang, as usual, with complete confidence in the truth of the words, but I felt no soul tug, or heart moving, or tear making, or anything else of that nature. It was actually a little disappointing because I was looking forward to the conference as a default way to pull me out of my mystery funk. ...Nope.
I'm tired of it, my lovely stalkers. Good Friday has been a weird one for me. Normally, the thought of Jesus' sacrifice for ME and MY guilt instantly brings me closer to Him, and though I am closer, I am nowhere near where I want to be.
But I hold on to the hope that this storm will pass.
In the meantime, I will listen to "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North and "Blessings" by Laura Story and a handful of other songs that I can't think of the names of at the moment. And then I will happy dance to "Hello, My Name Is" by Matthew West, go to bed, read my devotional, and pray that it will all go back to normal soon. :)
Farewell, lovelies!
Bad Emmi.
It's Good Friday, so maybe this is a weird time to talk about this, but it does (kindasortamaybe?) fit.
The last month has, spiritually, been a rough one for me.
This won't be one of my more "wordy" blog post, because I've been trying all month yet still cannot find the right words to explain what's been happening or how I feel.
The best word I can use to describe it is DISTANT.
Not just feeling distant from God, though that certainly has it's place, but mainly that I feel distant from my UNDERSTANDING of Him and how I RELATE to that. My brain and my heart are not communicating very effectively.
I am INFINITELY grateful that I have not stopped reading my Bible during this time; I could not imagine how much worse my month could have been if that wasn't the case. And as I write that I realize... I did have a really good month in most of the other aspects of my life. I can only thank God.
But right there in that last sentence is one of the weird things about this valley period. I can acknowledge the God-moments in my life, but I feel this disconnect to them. Almost like I can SEE His handiwork, but I can't feel His hands.
For the first time EVER (and I mean evereverEVER!) I attended a worship conference and sang, as usual, with complete confidence in the truth of the words, but I felt no soul tug, or heart moving, or tear making, or anything else of that nature. It was actually a little disappointing because I was looking forward to the conference as a default way to pull me out of my mystery funk. ...Nope.
I'm tired of it, my lovely stalkers. Good Friday has been a weird one for me. Normally, the thought of Jesus' sacrifice for ME and MY guilt instantly brings me closer to Him, and though I am closer, I am nowhere near where I want to be.
But I hold on to the hope that this storm will pass.
In the meantime, I will listen to "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North and "Blessings" by Laura Story and a handful of other songs that I can't think of the names of at the moment. And then I will happy dance to "Hello, My Name Is" by Matthew West, go to bed, read my devotional, and pray that it will all go back to normal soon. :)
Farewell, lovelies!
Random Things...
Hey there! I've just come off of a week of cold-and-flu and my brain is still a little bit mush so... this is going to be random. These are all things that have been floating around in my brain lately, in no particular order...
Thing Number One: Puffs Tissues
With my fore-mentioned cold-and-flu, I have become very attached to these wonderfully soft things! I haven't really expressed my love very nicely (think about it for a second...), but I hope that they know how important they are to me.
Thing Number Two: Crayola Twistables
I have long wanted to be one of those people who highlights and makes notes in their Bible, but I've been too chicken to actually do it. UNTIL NOW!!! I have discovered the perfect highlighting tool! These crayon-not-crayon things are amazing! No bleed through, no rub off, not too dark, no page ripping or rippling, so cheap (yet essentially the same thing as what is marketed as a dry bible highlighter) ...I can't think of anything much else to say about them, all I want to do is use exclamation marks! !!!!!
Now that I've got the highlighting part down, I feel like my next step is to work up the courage to use my pen. I've researched it to death and have my archival ink pens (temporarily misplaced, but somewhere in my room)... soon, I think I'll bite the bullet soon.
Thing Number Three: Missions
I have some friends who were just on (I have trouble keeping track of dates in general and it goes completely out the window when I get sick, so... possibly still on?) a mission trip, and it's got me thinking about missions again. I haven't been on one in a couple of years and would love to go on one again, but even more than that, I've been thinking about the impact they've had on my life already.
I never did have the same reactions that most have on their mission trips. The only culture shock I experienced was in the airports and possibly with the food, I didn't feel my heart breaking at every turn, and I have always been disappointed with my lack of ability to communicate through the communication barrier.
But that's the bad news.
I always just saw people who were filled with more JOY than most people up in North America can claim to have, who loved Jesus more ENTHUSIASTICALLY than any Christians I had ever met, and who lived with more UNDERSTANDING of what evangelism is than I had ever understood. Rather than giving all of the blessing, I always felt more blessed -- I was the one receiving the life-changing!
Don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that my assistance in building their church, painting their pews and shutters, doing some children's features, and heartily thanking the ladies that cooked every meal for us, was a blessing for them, but... I can't help but feel that I still got the long stick, and that is what I've been thinking about...
I am reminded of how every time I came back home I was even more grateful for the abundance that I already had, and that I didn't care at all about gaining MORE. I was abundantly grateful for the love of family and friends and church. I felt inspired to live joyfully and simply, thanking God for each day.
Those feelings had faded (some quite a bit) until I was praying for my friends and their trip. I'm grateful for these reminders and I'm trying to live by those understandings again.
Thing Number Four: My Youth Group <3
We've had some younger teens join our group in the last couple of weeks and I gotta tell you, it has given me a brand new perspective on how awesome my "regulars" are! I am so proud of those teenagers, I feel like a parent, looking at them and thinking, "That's my kid!" The amount of growth and maturity I see as they welcome these younger (and more annoying) kids and make them feel like a part of the group... I just can't stop telling them how awesome they are and how proud I am of them. They rock and I'm so lucky to get to witness that!
Thing Number Five: Meaningful Friendships
Friends I can have deep talks with, do stupid things with, and be my usual quirky self with, all within a couple of hours, are awesome. I'm grateful for every one of those friends and what they add to my life.
Thing Number Six: Sherlock
I was introduced to BBC's Sherlock over Christmas break. I watched the season 2 finale with the same "WHAAAAAT!?!" reaction as everybody who has seen it, and resigned myself to waiting in sorrow for who knows how long until season 3 became a reality.
BUT I have recently discovered something that has sparked my excitement again! I won't bore you with the details (if you want to know them, ask me sometime), but the short story is that I realized while watching an episode of Murdoch Mysteries that the BBC show is not just a loose interpretation of the character known as Sherlock Holmes, but that each episode very closely ties into a specific Sir Arthur Conan Doyle writing! !!!!!
Needless to say I am preparing to get a little nerdy about all things Sherlock :)
Plus! The creators of the BBC show just released three words as clues for what is coming up in the 3rd season (one for each episode, I assume) so... yep, (of course) now I just HAVE TO figure out which original story they refer to.
And lastly...
Thing Number Seven: Preparation
God is always teaching me something, but there are moments in time when I suddenly realize how several different things in my life (friendships, sermons, Bible study, etc.) have been combining to teach me the same thing.
I just had that "Aha!" moment yesterday in church, when I realized that God has been teaching me what He expects of me in relationships.
I'm not really sure how to put this next part... What I've been learning is certainly useful right now, but all of the learning has been specifically... wife-related...
Uh... you may recall that I am not currently in (nor have I really ever been) in a relationship, so... perhaps you will join me as I say "????" (with just a little bit of "!!!!!" thrown in there)!
I'm not really sure what to make of this yet, but I've always been convinced that God will lead me into a relationship when I was "ready", so it's been kind of fun to learn about and embrace (more now, than ever before) His design for marriage.
And maybe (just a little bit) begin to get excited about what He has in store for me.
Though I should mention that, even with this "Aha!", He hasn't really given me (or I haven't properly understood) any indication of who/when. I'm just in the preparation stage :P
That's all for now my lovelies :) I hope you've enjoyed this snippet into my brain. It's a little crazy, even to me, that ALL of those things were simultaneously on my mind! Brains are amazing, God is amazing.
// 2 Timothy 1:12 // ...for I know whom I have believed, and I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him... //
Thing Number One: Puffs Tissues
With my fore-mentioned cold-and-flu, I have become very attached to these wonderfully soft things! I haven't really expressed my love very nicely (think about it for a second...), but I hope that they know how important they are to me.
Thing Number Two: Crayola Twistables
I have long wanted to be one of those people who highlights and makes notes in their Bible, but I've been too chicken to actually do it. UNTIL NOW!!! I have discovered the perfect highlighting tool! These crayon-not-crayon things are amazing! No bleed through, no rub off, not too dark, no page ripping or rippling, so cheap (yet essentially the same thing as what is marketed as a dry bible highlighter) ...I can't think of anything much else to say about them, all I want to do is use exclamation marks! !!!!!
Now that I've got the highlighting part down, I feel like my next step is to work up the courage to use my pen. I've researched it to death and have my archival ink pens (temporarily misplaced, but somewhere in my room)... soon, I think I'll bite the bullet soon.
Thing Number Three: Missions
I have some friends who were just on (I have trouble keeping track of dates in general and it goes completely out the window when I get sick, so... possibly still on?) a mission trip, and it's got me thinking about missions again. I haven't been on one in a couple of years and would love to go on one again, but even more than that, I've been thinking about the impact they've had on my life already.
I never did have the same reactions that most have on their mission trips. The only culture shock I experienced was in the airports and possibly with the food, I didn't feel my heart breaking at every turn, and I have always been disappointed with my lack of ability to communicate through the communication barrier.
But that's the bad news.
I always just saw people who were filled with more JOY than most people up in North America can claim to have, who loved Jesus more ENTHUSIASTICALLY than any Christians I had ever met, and who lived with more UNDERSTANDING of what evangelism is than I had ever understood. Rather than giving all of the blessing, I always felt more blessed -- I was the one receiving the life-changing!
Don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that my assistance in building their church, painting their pews and shutters, doing some children's features, and heartily thanking the ladies that cooked every meal for us, was a blessing for them, but... I can't help but feel that I still got the long stick, and that is what I've been thinking about...
I am reminded of how every time I came back home I was even more grateful for the abundance that I already had, and that I didn't care at all about gaining MORE. I was abundantly grateful for the love of family and friends and church. I felt inspired to live joyfully and simply, thanking God for each day.
Those feelings had faded (some quite a bit) until I was praying for my friends and their trip. I'm grateful for these reminders and I'm trying to live by those understandings again.
Thing Number Four: My Youth Group <3
We've had some younger teens join our group in the last couple of weeks and I gotta tell you, it has given me a brand new perspective on how awesome my "regulars" are! I am so proud of those teenagers, I feel like a parent, looking at them and thinking, "That's my kid!" The amount of growth and maturity I see as they welcome these younger (and more annoying) kids and make them feel like a part of the group... I just can't stop telling them how awesome they are and how proud I am of them. They rock and I'm so lucky to get to witness that!
Thing Number Five: Meaningful Friendships
Friends I can have deep talks with, do stupid things with, and be my usual quirky self with, all within a couple of hours, are awesome. I'm grateful for every one of those friends and what they add to my life.
Thing Number Six: Sherlock
I was introduced to BBC's Sherlock over Christmas break. I watched the season 2 finale with the same "WHAAAAAT!?!" reaction as everybody who has seen it, and resigned myself to waiting in sorrow for who knows how long until season 3 became a reality.
BUT I have recently discovered something that has sparked my excitement again! I won't bore you with the details (if you want to know them, ask me sometime), but the short story is that I realized while watching an episode of Murdoch Mysteries that the BBC show is not just a loose interpretation of the character known as Sherlock Holmes, but that each episode very closely ties into a specific Sir Arthur Conan Doyle writing! !!!!!
Needless to say I am preparing to get a little nerdy about all things Sherlock :)
Plus! The creators of the BBC show just released three words as clues for what is coming up in the 3rd season (one for each episode, I assume) so... yep, (of course) now I just HAVE TO figure out which original story they refer to.
And lastly...
Thing Number Seven: Preparation
God is always teaching me something, but there are moments in time when I suddenly realize how several different things in my life (friendships, sermons, Bible study, etc.) have been combining to teach me the same thing.
I just had that "Aha!" moment yesterday in church, when I realized that God has been teaching me what He expects of me in relationships.
I'm not really sure how to put this next part... What I've been learning is certainly useful right now, but all of the learning has been specifically... wife-related...
Uh... you may recall that I am not currently in (nor have I really ever been) in a relationship, so... perhaps you will join me as I say "????" (with just a little bit of "!!!!!" thrown in there)!
I'm not really sure what to make of this yet, but I've always been convinced that God will lead me into a relationship when I was "ready", so it's been kind of fun to learn about and embrace (more now, than ever before) His design for marriage.
And maybe (just a little bit) begin to get excited about what He has in store for me.
Though I should mention that, even with this "Aha!", He hasn't really given me (or I haven't properly understood) any indication of who/when. I'm just in the preparation stage :P
That's all for now my lovelies :) I hope you've enjoyed this snippet into my brain. It's a little crazy, even to me, that ALL of those things were simultaneously on my mind! Brains are amazing, God is amazing.
// 2 Timothy 1:12 // ...for I know whom I have believed, and I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him... //
Worry & Trust
// Matthew 6:27 // Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? //
Side Thought #1: There is a footnote on this verse that says "Or single cubit to his height". As a vertically challenged person (fine, call it "short" if you must), somehow that has always spoken louder to me. :)
I was sending an email to a good friend (about worry and stress and trusting God) a week and a bit ago when this verse popped back into my head, and it has been stuck there ever since! In the email, my focus was encouraging her, but I think the lesson was mainly for me.
I don't know about you guys, but worry and stress come pretty easily to me.
Trusting God on the other hand... hasn't always been the easiest.
Another important thing that I should mention from the email is that I formed a bit of an analogy about the process (for lack of a better word) of trusting God.
Side Thought #2: I love, love, love analogies and metaphors! I'm just warning you. I'm sure it will come up again in the future.
It goes something like this...
Picture your ability (this is important later) to trust God as the foundation layer on a pyramid.
Every time you trust God with something, it add's a block to your pyramid (big thing=big block, little thing=little block).
Also important for this process, any time that your trust has a positive effect (in my mind, this means anything that makes me want to praise God. Ex: peace, God-incidence, confidence, etc.), that block gets added to your foundation.
Now, the reason that I said "ability" before is that if you make a habit of trusting God and seeing/feeling the results of that, you will get a pretty nice foundation. But if you don't... well... I picture it something like this:
Trusting God on the other hand... hasn't always been the easiest.
Another important thing that I should mention from the email is that I formed a bit of an analogy about the process (for lack of a better word) of trusting God.
Side Thought #2: I love, love, love analogies and metaphors! I'm just warning you. I'm sure it will come up again in the future.
It goes something like this...
Picture your ability (this is important later) to trust God as the foundation layer on a pyramid.
Every time you trust God with something, it add's a block to your pyramid (big thing=big block, little thing=little block).
Also important for this process, any time that your trust has a positive effect (in my mind, this means anything that makes me want to praise God. Ex: peace, God-incidence, confidence, etc.), that block gets added to your foundation.
Now, the reason that I said "ability" before is that if you make a habit of trusting God and seeing/feeling the results of that, you will get a pretty nice foundation. But if you don't... well... I picture it something like this:
Okay, now picture that you come across some medium-big sized worry that you want to trust God with. Say it looks something like this...
Side Thought #3: I remember "Paint" being a much more awesome than this...
If you have not developed your "trust foundation", you will have a hard time trusting God with this worry. You will be pushing your ability beyond what it is prepared for.
But on the other hand, if you have built a foundation, that worry is super easy to trust God with! No problem, it's not even that big of a worry from this point of view.
I don't know about you, but I'd rather have the latter.
Side Thought #4: I feel it's important to reiterate that my focus here is on the perspective of how easy or hard it is to surrender something to God. NOT whether he can handle it or not, because that visual looks like this...
(And that's obviously not to scale, because it it were all you would see is an ittybitty portion of the top of God's box since it would stretch infinitely in all directions. This post is already long -- an infinite God box would have been a little ridiculous, don't you think?)
So that has been my challenge. When I find myself worrying about anything, big or small, I give it to God, because I know that he can handle it, and that I will be amazed at how he turns it into praise, and that experiencing him work will make it easier to trust him again, because I know that he can handle it, and lather-rinse-repeat.
I think that's pretty cool.
Community
As I watched a flock of birds hanging out on a power line over the train yard today, I couldn't help but think that it was a beautiful reflection of the sense of community that I feel in my church.
Yesterday was not just the usual Sunday. We had the chance to honor a lovely couple for their consistent service in our church. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE (even the guest who was just at our church to make a presentation for the new Pregnancy Care Center in town) was filled with love and support for this couple! And my favorite part is that even with the service mostly dedicated to this couple, what we were able to give them is STILL only a portion of the amount of love, and prayers, and honor, and service that they have given to us over the years and still will give!
My close-second favorite part is the reminder that my church family is AMAZING! So much love, support, and togetherness. Truly a beautiful community. Maybe I'm biased, but I kind of don't think so.
My sense of community didn't end there yesterday. I was able to hang out with my puzzle making friend again! (Yes. In case you were wondering... we did build another puzzle. And I have no shame in admitting that we both had FUN doing it!) The camaraderie in spending hours just hanging out with a friend is so stinkin' wonderful that it only added to my awareness of the community that I am fortunate enough to be a part of.
AND THERE'S MORE!! I went straight from that friend's house to another friend's house! One of the young men in the youth has been slowly (and with a great deal of patience on his part) giving me a video game education. We spent hours playing, laughing the whole time (because I was SO BAD at the beginning, and still not near pro by the time we called it a night!), and I was reminded once again that the community in my church family has spawned a great community in the Youth Group! Even though we were both frustrated at my ineptitude, we still had a great deal of fun.
I think that is beautiful.
I am so grateful to God that I get to be a part of this community of amazing people who care about me and that I have the opportunities to care about in return.
I hope that you all get the chance to experience that, my lovelies!
Yesterday was not just the usual Sunday. We had the chance to honor a lovely couple for their consistent service in our church. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE (even the guest who was just at our church to make a presentation for the new Pregnancy Care Center in town) was filled with love and support for this couple! And my favorite part is that even with the service mostly dedicated to this couple, what we were able to give them is STILL only a portion of the amount of love, and prayers, and honor, and service that they have given to us over the years and still will give!
My close-second favorite part is the reminder that my church family is AMAZING! So much love, support, and togetherness. Truly a beautiful community. Maybe I'm biased, but I kind of don't think so.
My sense of community didn't end there yesterday. I was able to hang out with my puzzle making friend again! (Yes. In case you were wondering... we did build another puzzle. And I have no shame in admitting that we both had FUN doing it!) The camaraderie in spending hours just hanging out with a friend is so stinkin' wonderful that it only added to my awareness of the community that I am fortunate enough to be a part of.
AND THERE'S MORE!! I went straight from that friend's house to another friend's house! One of the young men in the youth has been slowly (and with a great deal of patience on his part) giving me a video game education. We spent hours playing, laughing the whole time (because I was SO BAD at the beginning, and still not near pro by the time we called it a night!), and I was reminded once again that the community in my church family has spawned a great community in the Youth Group! Even though we were both frustrated at my ineptitude, we still had a great deal of fun.
I think that is beautiful.
I am so grateful to God that I get to be a part of this community of amazing people who care about me and that I have the opportunities to care about in return.
I hope that you all get the chance to experience that, my lovelies!
Doubts.
// Mark 9:24b NLT // "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!" //
This was the verse that stood out to me in my personal devotions, and ultimately became the lesson I taught at the Youth Bible Study on Wednesday.
This story in Mark that tells of Jesus healing a demon-possessed boy contains a lot of characters who are struggling with unbelief, but the father of the boy is my favorite. I can relate to him.
Not because I have a demon-possessed child, but because sometimes I also feel so stuck in this place between belief and unbelief that all I can think to say is, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!".
(A lot of the following is how I've pictured it as if I were standing in the story. All of the accounts of this healing [Mark 9:14-29, Matthew 17:14-21, Luke 9:37-43] don't really give us an up close and personal view of the father, or any of the characters really. But they are human, their natures are not so difficult to imagine. Regardless, this is my disclaimer: I made some of it up. I encourage you to follow along in Mark 9:14-29 if you are able to.)
This man is desperate! His son has been possessed since he was little, and this is no doubt not the first time that the father has sought healing for him. He brings his boy, in faith, to where Jesus is supposed to be. Instead, he finds 9 of the 12 disciples and the news that Jesus is up the mountain, not to return for a while.
If I were him, this would have deflated me a little.
But never fear! The disciples have performed healings only three chapters ago and are eager to prove that, even if they aren't "special" enough to go up the mountain with Jesus, they aren't useless. They probably insisted that they could heal his boy.
So they try. ...And they fail. (Lack of faith can do that... see Matthew 17:19-21)
So while an argument starts between some religious teachers and the disciples for who knows what reason, I imagine this father is off on the side-lines... beginning to wonder if his little boy CAN ever be healed, beginning to doubt when, if ever, life will change.
Then Jesus walks up.
The argument stops, people run to greet him, and he asks what everyone was arguing about.
The father steps up and desperately explains how he brought his son to see Jesus so that he could be healed. He explains the boy's situation (basically, the demon causes grand mal seizures, which I can't imagine watching your child go through). Then he breaks the bad news... the disciples couldn't do it.
Jesus says a couple of choice words on the faithlessness of his disciples, and then he says, "Bring the boy to me."
Any hope the father may have had at Jesus finally being in the story, I imagine, probably didn't last long as, upon seeing Jesus, the evil spirit "threw the child into a violent convulsion, and he fell to the ground, writhing and foaming at the mouth."
Gah! To be a parent in that situation must be heart breaking! I have very little doubt that all he was thinking was how much he wished this could all be over for his son.
In my head, the father turns to Jesus beseechingly hoping that Jesus is seeing this and will heal his boy NOW.
But instead, Jesus asks, "How long has this been happening?"
Wait, whaaaaat?!
(I love this part!) Jesus sees the struggle of doubt within the father, He knows the fear the father has that even JESUS won't be able to heal his boy, and Jesus can tell that this man's faith has been shaken.
And as the father answers Jesus, I can feel his desperation as he explains even more strongly that the evil spirit has tried to kill his boy! He cries, "Have mercy on us and help us, if you can."
There it is.
The father has identified his own doubt.
// Mark 9:23-24 NLT // "What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes." The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!" //
THEN... Jesus turns to the boy. "I command you to come out of this child and never enter him again!"
The spirit screams and throws the boy into another seizure, but this time, I don't think the father doubts. This time, he believes it now, is the last time.
This was the verse that stood out to me in my personal devotions, and ultimately became the lesson I taught at the Youth Bible Study on Wednesday.
This story in Mark that tells of Jesus healing a demon-possessed boy contains a lot of characters who are struggling with unbelief, but the father of the boy is my favorite. I can relate to him.
Not because I have a demon-possessed child, but because sometimes I also feel so stuck in this place between belief and unbelief that all I can think to say is, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!".
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(A lot of the following is how I've pictured it as if I were standing in the story. All of the accounts of this healing [Mark 9:14-29, Matthew 17:14-21, Luke 9:37-43] don't really give us an up close and personal view of the father, or any of the characters really. But they are human, their natures are not so difficult to imagine. Regardless, this is my disclaimer: I made some of it up. I encourage you to follow along in Mark 9:14-29 if you are able to.)
This man is desperate! His son has been possessed since he was little, and this is no doubt not the first time that the father has sought healing for him. He brings his boy, in faith, to where Jesus is supposed to be. Instead, he finds 9 of the 12 disciples and the news that Jesus is up the mountain, not to return for a while.
If I were him, this would have deflated me a little.
But never fear! The disciples have performed healings only three chapters ago and are eager to prove that, even if they aren't "special" enough to go up the mountain with Jesus, they aren't useless. They probably insisted that they could heal his boy.
So they try. ...And they fail. (Lack of faith can do that... see Matthew 17:19-21)
So while an argument starts between some religious teachers and the disciples for who knows what reason, I imagine this father is off on the side-lines... beginning to wonder if his little boy CAN ever be healed, beginning to doubt when, if ever, life will change.
Then Jesus walks up.
The argument stops, people run to greet him, and he asks what everyone was arguing about.
The father steps up and desperately explains how he brought his son to see Jesus so that he could be healed. He explains the boy's situation (basically, the demon causes grand mal seizures, which I can't imagine watching your child go through). Then he breaks the bad news... the disciples couldn't do it.
Jesus says a couple of choice words on the faithlessness of his disciples, and then he says, "Bring the boy to me."
Any hope the father may have had at Jesus finally being in the story, I imagine, probably didn't last long as, upon seeing Jesus, the evil spirit "threw the child into a violent convulsion, and he fell to the ground, writhing and foaming at the mouth."
Gah! To be a parent in that situation must be heart breaking! I have very little doubt that all he was thinking was how much he wished this could all be over for his son.
In my head, the father turns to Jesus beseechingly hoping that Jesus is seeing this and will heal his boy NOW.
But instead, Jesus asks, "How long has this been happening?"
Wait, whaaaaat?!
(I love this part!) Jesus sees the struggle of doubt within the father, He knows the fear the father has that even JESUS won't be able to heal his boy, and Jesus can tell that this man's faith has been shaken.
And as the father answers Jesus, I can feel his desperation as he explains even more strongly that the evil spirit has tried to kill his boy! He cries, "Have mercy on us and help us, if you can."
There it is.
The father has identified his own doubt.
// Mark 9:23-24 NLT // "What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes." The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!" //
THEN... Jesus turns to the boy. "I command you to come out of this child and never enter him again!"
The spirit screams and throws the boy into another seizure, but this time, I don't think the father doubts. This time, he believes it now, is the last time.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Like I said before, I relate to this father.
I very strongly believe that God has a plan for my future. I just lose sight of that sometimes when another year passes and it isn't my future yet. I get discouraged and start to think, maybe the things I hope for will never happen, maybe the future I have in my head will never exist.
I'm in that place right now.
I needed this story to remind me that I have a Savior who is CONSTANT, and a God who has a future and a hope PLANNED for me. His timing will be PERFECT, I just have to live in faith.
When I catch myself doubting what my future will hold and/or when it will hold it, I will pray, "Father, I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief."
Lessons.
... I wish hard lessons were easier to learn.
// James 1:19 NLT // Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. //
God has been (re)teaching me these truths in the last twenty-four hours.
Being slow to speak has never been an easy one for me. I dislike seeing anyone go through hard times and I just want to get in there and FIX it. But... I have learned that helpful words do not always help. More often, just listening is what helps the most.
I learned this a long time ago, but today, I obviously needed to be reminded of it.
I always joke with God that I am relatively unobservant to the things He is trying to teach me, and so he should know that if He wants something to sink in He has to make it reallyreallysuperextra obvious!
One should never joke with God...
I had two completely separate, but almost identical situations yesterday and today. In one I was hasty to give "advice" without really understanding the other person's problem. In the other, someone made a point of giving me their two cents without taking the time to understand to my situation.
In both situations, the "helpful" opinion was given to be just that, helpful. The advice came out of a place of concern for the other person's situation.
I realized right away that I'd goofed and I made a "Sorry for the speech!" statement, but it wasn't until I found myself getting frustrated at the person who gave me their thoughts so hastily that I understood again just how hurtful helpful-but-not-helpful words can be.
In both situations, there was one person who was a little too slow to listen and a little too quick to speak. And, in my situation at least, there was someone who was finding it a little too easy to be quick to anger (in my head only, which I'm grateful for now).
Before I wrote this, I sent an apology to the young man to whom I was so quick to give advice. He was very gracious and I am blessed to have such maturity in my little group of youth.
Since I'm the one who learned the lesson, I don't really expect to receive an apology in the other situation. It doesn't lessen the hurt yet, but it's good to have perspective and the reminder that it is my responsibility to be the gracious one. After all, I know how easy it is to think that my "helpful" opinion just HAS to be given.
Something to think about, my lovelies.
Remember today to be QUICK to listen, SLOW to speak, and SLOW to get angry.
And maybe, if necessary, QUICK to apologize.
God bless.
// James 1:19 NLT // Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. //
God has been (re)teaching me these truths in the last twenty-four hours.
Being slow to speak has never been an easy one for me. I dislike seeing anyone go through hard times and I just want to get in there and FIX it. But... I have learned that helpful words do not always help. More often, just listening is what helps the most.
I learned this a long time ago, but today, I obviously needed to be reminded of it.
I always joke with God that I am relatively unobservant to the things He is trying to teach me, and so he should know that if He wants something to sink in He has to make it reallyreallysuperextra obvious!
One should never joke with God...
I had two completely separate, but almost identical situations yesterday and today. In one I was hasty to give "advice" without really understanding the other person's problem. In the other, someone made a point of giving me their two cents without taking the time to understand to my situation.
In both situations, the "helpful" opinion was given to be just that, helpful. The advice came out of a place of concern for the other person's situation.
I realized right away that I'd goofed and I made a "Sorry for the speech!" statement, but it wasn't until I found myself getting frustrated at the person who gave me their thoughts so hastily that I understood again just how hurtful helpful-but-not-helpful words can be.
In both situations, there was one person who was a little too slow to listen and a little too quick to speak. And, in my situation at least, there was someone who was finding it a little too easy to be quick to anger (in my head only, which I'm grateful for now).
Before I wrote this, I sent an apology to the young man to whom I was so quick to give advice. He was very gracious and I am blessed to have such maturity in my little group of youth.
Since I'm the one who learned the lesson, I don't really expect to receive an apology in the other situation. It doesn't lessen the hurt yet, but it's good to have perspective and the reminder that it is my responsibility to be the gracious one. After all, I know how easy it is to think that my "helpful" opinion just HAS to be given.
Something to think about, my lovelies.
Remember today to be QUICK to listen, SLOW to speak, and SLOW to get angry.
And maybe, if necessary, QUICK to apologize.
God bless.